The “little deaths” are the numerous times we suffered disappointment, betrayal, or deep hurt from unexpected events. Some of these are not always so “little”, especially if it means being disappointed with the relationship with a partner disintegrating, or the loss of work when we have a lot of financial commitments and uncertainties. At the same time, the death of someone with whom we’ve been close can be very traumatic. This is especially true if we have been together for many years and can’t imagine life without the person. And sometimes the opposite is true, and we can struggle to adapt when a horrible relationship ends. If a person that we love dearly gets a terminal illness and dies slowly over time, we can be left feeling totally drained and empty inside.
The passing of time doesn’t always reduce the emptiness or take away the sense of missing someone that we loved deeply. But it is possible to pick up the loose ends and to go on, and develop new interests they can help us regain some of our old spark back. Counselling can be helpful in enabling us to make some sense of the ways in which life can be unfair, and also to regain our own sense of who we are, and what life can give us again. It is too easy to simply withdraw into oneself, and forget about other aspects of life that can be very rewarding and important. Ironically, even though doesn’t seem like it at first, in the months and years following a significant loss, unexpected new areas may well open up that can offer a new lease to life. It is certainly worthwhile to accept help, if that is what it takes to be able to move on and find new pleasures in life.